Addiction recovery is not solely a physical journey, it is also an emotional one. For many, the process of beating addiction is similar to climbing an enormous mountain — there are highs, lows and times of uncertainty. But knowing the emotional stages of recovery can help you recognize and urge that no feeling — however overwhelming — is not part of the process of healing. Let’s dig into the emotional landscape of recovery, and what it means to truly heal.
Stage 1: Hope and Fear
But the first step to recovery often starts with hope and fear. The possibilities of a better life — free from the chains of addiction — come with hope, but also the fear of the unknown. Questions such as “Can I actually do this? or “What if I fail?” are common. Note that this phase is gritty and vulnerable, but it’s also where bravery starts to take root.
Close your eye and Imagine standing at the edge of the ocean. You know you have to make your way across it, but the waves look fierce. It’s okay to feel scared. Recognize the fear but don’t let it make you immobile. Now is the time to take that first step, however small.
Stage 2: Resistance and Denial
As the journey begins, denial sets in for many, Addiction has a way to convince you that “things aren’t that bad” or “maybe I don’t need help after all.” This resistance may be rooted in shame, guilt, or fear of change. When old habits are destructive, it can be tempting to return to them because they’re familiar.
At this stage, it’s important to remind yourself of your reason for the start. List the reasons why you are wanting recovery— for your family, your health, or your dreams. Keep them close, because on days when it feels like you’re the only person who wants to give up, they’re your lifeline to the larger world.
Stage 3: Anguish and Frustration
Recovery often has the effect of bringing buried emotions to the surface, and anger is one of them. You may be angry at yourself about what you did or didn’t do, or at others you think are at fault. You can also feel frustrated when you see how much work recovery takes.
Now it’s not to say that anger is your enemy. It’s a human reaction to pain and loss. Rather than stifling it, find healthy outlets to get it out — writing in a journal, moving your body, speaking to a trusted friend or therapist. This stage is about sitting with your emotions and not numbing out.
Stage 4: Acceptance and Growth
With time, acceptance begins to emerge. You begin looking at addiction for what it is — a disease, not some moral failing. It can be freeing to understand this, giving you permission to forgive yourself and move on.
In this stage, you might start rebuilding relationships, establishing goals, and rediscovering passions you lost to addiction. It’s a season of resilience when the fog begins to dissipate, and hope is a little more tangible.
Stage 5: Thankfulness and Ability
Gratitude characterizes the final stage of recovery. You start to notice the little victories — of waking up sober, of checking in with loved ones, of just feeling like yourself again. There’s a feeling of empowerment, of having fought one of life’s fiercest wars and risen victorious.
This stage doesn’t suggest the journey’s come to an end. Recovery takes a lifetime, but by now you’ve developed the tools and resiliency to deal with life on life’s terms. Celebrate how far you’ve gotten, and keep in mind that every single day sober is a victory.
A Journey Worth Taking
Recovery is never a straight line. It’s a meandering road, full of twists, turns and surprises. But all emotion, fear and anger and joy, is part of the process. Recognizing and accepting these emotional stages will help you to continue forward with kindness to yourself and hope for the future.
Remember, you’re not alone. Countless others have traveled this road before you, and they do so stronger, wiser and more in touch with themselves. You can too.